


Life's Classroom

by nonky



Series: The Amazing Amnesiacs of New York [1]
Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 22:31:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9292283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Jane should have been able to help Roman remember, or at least guide him through the the hardest parts of losing his memories. The best she could do was hide how desperate she was to prove he could be useful to the FBI.





	

Jane's fist curled in frustration as her little brother's strain came out in a brittle shout of, "I don't know! It's not there, and I can't make it exist!"

"He'll give us something," she said firmly. 

They were watching the recording of their latest attempt to draw out information from her brother. The patient questions were met with endless headshakes and apologies. A desire to help had never triggered her brain like needing one of her combat skills to save her life. The interrogation room was the least helpful place she recalled from her arrival; a physical blank slate for her mental one.

"I know he's cooperating," he said, blinking tired eyes. "I believe your impression of Roman is correct. He had a mission because he was following a principle. He was doing what his family raised him to do. He's not a zealot, so he can change his mind and help us."

She was proud of Roman for even having the will to try. She knew the feeling of dragging every detail back and forth, getting nothing except headaches. Her tentative smile faded as Weller continued.

"But we barely knew anything about the effect of the drugs on you, and since Borden was treating you we don't know how much you recovered and how much he planted in your head."

They were worlds better than even a few weeks before, but Jane knew she was at the bottom of a steep climb. They had professional respect and a very basic drive Weller had to protect her from her own crimes. He would listen. He would try to believe anything she said. 

"I wish I knew, too," she told him. "I mean, I told Borden things I wouldn't want anyone to hear. Now there are agents going through Nas' recordings and taking notes on what I leaked to Sandstorm through him. And I brought my brother here."

She sank into a chair, too sad to be anything else. He turned in his seat, and his eyes were soft with compassion. 

"You saved his life, Jane," Kurt told her. "It was this or losing him, and I think you made the right choice."

Jane looked at the screen, taking in the anguish in Roman's expression. It was nice to get support, but she needed her brother to agree with what she'd done. He didn't even know himself well enough to reasonably forgive her. She reached into her pocket and crumpled the gum wrapper. It was impossible for her to judge accurately, because she had desperately wanted to keep her brother.

"I, uh, I keep getting back things, you know? Memories sometimes, but other times it's just emotional stuff that lets me piece together why Remi would have thought the way she did," Jane said slowly. 

She glanced at him, but he was neutral. He was careful not to ignore her, because they had all learned painfully clearly anything that surfaced in her mind could be important. Without Borden, the team was between doctors. They could speak to anybody in the medical pool the FBI kept. Trust was pretty far off, and new doctors were as useful as tooth fairies. 

"You asked me once why your name was on my back, and I know that now." Jane paused. "Well, I guess we all know part of it. Taylor Shaw was an identity they could steal to conceal me, and you would protect me. But I'm sure there were other FBI agents with similar losses. I think she chose you - Remi. She wouldn't be able to fake anything once she became me, so she needed someone who would . . . interest her. She picked a man the way she'd pick a man to date."

Kurt might have gone a little pink in the cheeks, though he hid it with a rueful twist of his mouth and a swivel back and forth. "Makes sense," he muttered. 

She nodded, letting him avoid further embarrassment. Sandstorm's mission was more ridiculous with every turn. Jane couldn't absorb the scope of effort it must have required without getting lost in wondering if it could ever be worthwhile. People were throwing away careers and lives to play tiny parts of a giant conspiracy. Remi had broken an engagement with Oscar to seduce an FBI agent. 

"I sometimes wonder if she's still inside my head. The things I've heard about her are almost entirely bad. She was ruthless. She loved people, but she was able to abandon them for this overly complex mission. We don't seem very much alike, except-"

He wasn't going to let that pass. Jane wasn't sure if it was lingering suspicion or concern when he focused on her. She hadn't wanted to admit that whatever attraction Remi had seen in Kurt, Jane was drowning in that awareness. 

"It's nothing really," she said bleakly. "I think I was so wrapped up in being Taylor because it was something Remi had secretly wanted. There was a whole community honouring that little girl. People had looked for her, had never stopped looking for her. Remi and Roman's home was a bloodbath, and they were erased from the world. I have moments where I feel like I'm just made up of the hidden pieces of who I was before. I'm all her weaknesses. I'm not sure I'd want her strengths."

Kurt stood up, looming over her in a way that never felt threatening. "You're much stronger than her," he said with certainty. "You'd never throw away your family for a mission. You'd find a way to do what needed to be done, and you'd keep the people you loved. If Remi's in there, she's shaking in her boots."

Her nod was a simple agreement, but it put her eyes on the screen again. Any comfort faded. 

"Hey," Kurt said quietly. "Jane?"

"He's suffering," she whispered.

"He's your brother. If he's not Roman anymore, maybe he can find a way to be someone new, like you did. If genetics and family bonds mean anything, he's got a better chance than most of making it."

It might be nice to be Alice and Ian again, or maybe taking brand new names and starting over. Roman was getting as much of a chance at that as she could give, mostly because Weller was backing her efforts. 

"I'm glad he's here," she said softly. "I wish I could think of something to help, but he probably has to live though it. He's still the same in his reactions. He's always been very sweet. If he can repay you for this, I know he will."

"I'm doing my job. People who've done far worse than you and Roman get to turn themselves in and get immunity. I don't see how you had much chance to shape your own lives being raised by Shepherd," he said. "You were kidnapped children who stayed lost too long. Someone should have been looking for you. Roman can repay me by getting better."

Weller turned to leave, pausing in the door. "Jane?"

"Yeah?" Her mind was running through ideas to help Roman, trying to weed out the lies in Borden's therapy with the real treatments. 

Kurt looked over his shoulder, his mouth set unhappily. "If you think you owe me, you're wrong. You don't repay debts to team members. We don't keep score. We forgive mistakes, or we'd all be on our own by now."


End file.
